What is Tall Poppy Syndrome and How to Live with It?

It was during a sharing seminar in New Zealand that I first heard of the term “Tall Poppy Syndrome”. The speaker is a young girl who inherited the traditional spinning and yarning techniques from her grandparents, and she’s turning the skillset into sustainable fashion making. Having won national design awards and presented her talent on multiple runways, it was surprising to hear her said “I just had the courage to share my stories”. She subsequently recalled being bullied at high school when she just started dabbling in fashion design, “those girls would criticise at my passion work. My parents lived aboard and they have been encouraging to pursue my dream, and then we only heard of ‘tall poppy syndrome’ too.”

At first, in my limited perception, a tall poppy was just a flower or maybe even a property agent. But when I looked it up, I found a rather cruel origin story. The tyrannical Roman king Lucius Tarquinius Superbus once received a messenger from his son Sextus Tarquinius, who had become powerful in Gabii and asked what he should do next. Instead of answering verbally, Tarquin went into his garden, took a stick, and swept it across, cutting off the heads of the tallest poppies. The messenger returned and relayed what he had seen. Sextus understood that his father wanted him to put to death all of Gabii’s most eminent people, which he then did. Since then, the term “tall poppy” has been used to describe people with notable public success who are then ostracised by others. This is also known as “cutting down the tall poppy.”

Of course, the concept exists in many cultures, even if it goes by different names. In Chinese, 树大招风 means “a tall tree attracts the wind,” subtly referring to how famous or wealthy people attract criticism. Another phrase, 枪打出头鸟, translates directly as “the first bird to stick its head out gets shot,” which similar to the Japanese 出る杭は打たれる (“the nail that sticks up gets hammered down”). The Dutch say boven het maaiveld uitsteken (“don’t put your head above ground level”), while in Chile there is chaquetear (“pull the jacket”).

Several studies highlight the negative economic impact of Tall Poppy Syndrome, such as discouraging entrepreneurship, risk-taking, and overall growth. But beyond economics, the girl’s sharing revealed something important: Tall Poppy Syndrome can directly affect mental health. So, how do we live with it, or protect ourselves without compromising our dreams? Here are my two cents:

The Survival and Bloom Cycle of Life

Since the poppy is a plant, let’s take its nature as a metaphor. For any living being, survival comes first. Before a flower blooms, it must set down roots, grow a stem, branch, and twig. Sometimes, due to weather, temperature, or other unexpected factors, a flower may not bloom at the “supposed time.” In today’s global climate of constant change and crisis, survival becomes harder and more critical.

Think of a tree: if its trunk is not strong enough but it just keeps growing taller, a strong wind can easily topple it.

A few years ago, at a marketing innovation forum, I spoke about the concept of the “minimum viable campaign (MVC).”It allows marketers to trial fresh ideas without risking heavy budgets, using small experiments. The build, test, learn cycle is common in the startup scene. But not every entity can apply it. For smaller enterprises and individuals, even “small” experiments can be costly compared to what large companies with deep pockets can risk. Ironically, it is often MNCs who loudly call for “innovation” or “startup culture,” precisely because they are lacking of it. Startups, on the other hand, move faster but are far more vulnerable. A single criticism or social media scandal can snowball and destroy a brand overnight.

It would take a whole study to explore risk-taking and entrepreneurship, but my point is simple. Survive well first, before choosing the right time to blossom. Personally, I have had to face situations where a passion project risked harming my main career. Although many questioned why others had such strong opinions against a not-for-profit impact initiative, I eventually let it go. My survival cycle, which involved protecting my family and my reputation, took priority. Sometimes pausing is not giving up. It can mean buying more time for survival before blooming again. Waiting for the right moment and building a supportive system are also essential.

What Will You Say to Others in a Similar Situation?

I have been hugely inspired by Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by psychologist David D. Burns, who asked a thought-provoking question to those with depressive symptoms: “What will you say to others in a similar situation?”

For many of us, empathy comes naturally. If a close friend told us their struggles over coffee, we would likely say things such as, “It is just bad luck, let it pass,” or “You have already done your best, don’t blame yourself,” or “Think about the positives in your life.” But when it comes to ourselves, we are often far stricter. Faced with criticism, our inner voice turns harsh: “I wasn’t good enough,” “I am just not capable,” “If only I had done this or that.” Sometimes we even attack our own intelligence.

Why are we so hard on ourselves, when we can be so kind to others?

Tall Poppy Syndrome only feels as frightening as the extent to which we put ourselves into the role of victim. Negative voices are sticky; they linger longer than positive ones. But there are steps we can possibly take:

1. Check survival first. Ask whether the criticism actually threatens your basic survival. If not, it may simply be noise to ignore.
2. Practise self-empathy. If it hurts, speak to yourself the way you would to a friend in the same situation.
3. Create physical distance. Step away from bullies, especially those hiding behind screens and keyboards. Even a short break from social media can free up time for visiting interesting places, learning new skills, bonding with family, or connecting with a supportive community.

Life as a Journey

Last but not least, we often hear the saying, “Life is a long journey, not a sprint.” And just as its name suggests, Tall Poppy is a syndrome, not a life-long disease. It does not have to define us. Treat it like a short TikTok episode: swipe it away and move on, because there is always more interesting and better content waiting to be discovered.

Have you ever encountered Tall Poppy Syndrome? How would you deal with it?